


Hold me

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Series: SPN Hiatus Creations [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: But it's there, Cuddles, Dean finally gets the love he deserves, Dean is touch starved and doesn't know it, Hugs, Hugs and Affection, M/M, Soft!Dean, loving!Cas, this only hints at their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 07:43:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19330141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: Dean doesn't know why he is so bad at showing his feelings, he just is. Sam and Castiel doesn't seem to accept that and slowly Dean understands that hugs and affection are what he really needs.





	Hold me

**Author's Note:**

> Hii so this is for the [SPN Hiatus Creations ](https://spnhiatuscreations.tumblr.com/) project on Tumblr :)
> 
> This week's prompt: hugs and affection.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“I’m just saying Dean, we all need help sometimes.” Sam says again, but Dean only gets out of the car and slams the door shut. Help. As if someone could still help him. He was in hell, he was in purgatory, heck an hour of torture sounds like a normal tuesday in his life.

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Dean mutters and grabs his bag, before Sam can say even more stupid stuff. He wipes over his forehead and isn’t surprised when his hand comes back red. He hasn’t cleaned up after ganking that vampire and apparently it shows. 

“Seriously man, Jody just tried to comfort you.” Sam says and Dean huffs. He knows that, but he just couldn’t let her, after he got Jody, Claire and Alex hurt. Dean squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head at the memories. 

Both girls are fine now, but Dean is sure that was more luck than anything. He was almost too late and seeing Jody on her crutches or Claire’s black eye, will give him for sure nightmares for the next months. Just what he needed.

“Dean?” Castiel asks, as soon as Dean opens the door to the bunker. Dean wants to roll his eyes, instead he makes a noise in the back of his throat, so Castiel knows it’s them and won’t try to smite them, while he walks down the stairs. 

“Yeah we’re home.” Sam answers, directly behind Dean. He doesn’t seem bothered anymore, that Castiel looks after Dean first. Just then the angel walks around the corner looking worried, his phone in his hands.

“Jody called me and said you were pretty distraught.” Castiel admits openly and Dean groans, of course she called Cas. Dean walks around Castiel, ignoring him for now and places his bag on the table in the war room. 

“We’re okay. Dean is only allergic to hugs or affection as it seems.” Sam says and Dean can almost picture how Castiel tilts his head at that, maybe he even squints his eyes at Sam. Dean smiles to himself, without realizing it.

“Allergic? Dean you could’ve told me, then I wouldn’t have hugged you so many times.” Castiel says and he actually sounds worried. Dean hastily turns around to see that Sam has his eyebrows raised. 

“He doesn’t mean literally allergic.” Dean chokes out and ignores the fluttering in his stomach. He knows that in his life, feelings like this aren’t allowed. He tried it with Lisa and look where that got him. Or her.

“So you just don’t like them.” Castiel says and Dean feels as if he stole a kid their chocolate. Castiel’s smile vanishes completely from his face and Dean’s chest aches at that. He didn’t mean to hurt Castiel now as well.

Instead of apologizing, Dean just turns around and leaves for the safety of his own room. Just as he walks down the hallway, he can hear Sam explaining it to Castiel. 

“He does like them, he can’t just admit. He never got enough affection or hugs, so he doesn’t really know how to handle that, because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it.” Sam says and this time Castiel doesn’t answer. Dean clenches his teeth. 

Sam that traitor.

 

*

 

The next morning the world looks a bit better and Dean wakes up to a loud sound from his stomach. Oh yeah he could go for a breakfast. He checks his phone and sends Jody a short message to apologize for his … whatever it was. 

She answers within seconds and Dean smiles down at his phone. He really loves the family he got over the years and he is glad that at least a few people are still with them. Before he wallows in self pity again, he gets up and walks out of his room.

Just to walk directly into Castiel.

“What the…” Dean starts, but he stops swearing, when he sees the happy face Castiel is making. Dean automatically frowns.

“Good morning, Dean. Did you sleep well?” Castiel asks and Dean nods a bit perplexed. He really didn’t have a nightmare at all and maybe that is the angels work. Dean isn’t sure if he should thank him or if that would be just awkward. 

“Yeah uh. Sam already awake?” Dean asks and walks towards their kitchen. Castiel walks next to him, their shoulders brushing the whole way down the hall. Castiel’s hand even touched his once. Dean suppresses a shudder.

“Yes, we are making breakfast at the moment, but maybe you would like to fry some bacon as well?” Castiel asks and Dean nods. He doesn’t think there would ever be a day where he doesn’t want some bacon.

“Sure I'll handle it.” Dean says and he is still happily surprised when he sees all the breakfast on the table already. Sam is just fixing them some coffee and Dean licks his lips, when he spots some pie, Sam must’ve bought. 

“Good morning.” Sam says and he puts two of the mugs on the table as well. Pulling the milk to himself, while Dean walks towards the stove, Castiel sits down on the chair that somehow became his, while Sam goes back to the coffee machine. 

Dean whistles quietly, while he fries the bacon and soon enough the kitchen smells even better than it did before. Sam looks towards him and smiles.

“Thank you for always cooking for us.” Sam says and he puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean eyes widen a bit at that, because normally Sam never thanks him for cooking breakfast and Dean only did the bacon this time anyway.

“Eh sure no problem.” Dean mumbles, while Sam’s thumb strokes over his shoulder. Sam smiles again at him, before he walks back to the table as well. Dean looks after him and sees that Castiel is smiling widely at him.

Weird.

It doesn’t take long to get the bacon ready and Dean puts the plate next to his, so he could easily reach it. He sees that Castiel didn’t take anything besides his milky coffee. Sam however is already eating some fruits with yogurt. 

“Cas? Do you want some pancakes?” Dean asks, because while he knows that Castiel doesn’t need to eat, there are some things the angel can never say no to. Sadly pie isn’t on that list, but that also means more for Dean.

“Really, you would make some for me? But only if it’s not much trouble.” Castiel says and Dean actually winks at him, before turning back to the stove to start with the dough. What the fuck, was he thinking?

“Nah I want some as well.” Dean says and he tries to play it cool. He hears Sam’s laughter anyway and tries to ignore that. When the first pancakes are ready, Dean wants to bring them over to the table, but Castiel is somehow next to him.

“I’ll take them.” Castiel offers and takes the plate out of Dean’s hand. They stare at each other and then Castiel just leans closer and Dean holds his breath. He has no idea what Castiel is doing.

“Thank you, Dean.” Castiel says and he actually presses a kiss to Dean’s cheek. 

Dean freezes and he is glad that Castiel is holding the pancakes, because he is sure otherwise they would be on the ground right now. Castiel is smiling shyly up at him and then walks back to the table, as if everything is normal.

“N-no problem.” Dean forces out at least, but when nobody is looking at him, Dean presses his fingers against the spot Castiel just kissed. Sure Dean had been kissed a lot of times, but never this… _tender_

_Dean takes a deep breath and then concentrates back on the last pancakes before he sits down at the table as well. The rest of the breakfast is pretty normally, but Dean thinks he can still feel Castiel’s lips._

__

 

__

*

__

 

__

“Hello boys!” 

__

Sam gets up, from where he was sitting at the table in the war room and looks up to see Jody and the girls on their balcony. 

__

“Hey guys.” Sam says and waits for them to go down the stairs. Jody is walking without her crutches again and you can’t see any wounds or bruises on the girls faces anymore. Sam is relieved. 

__

Jody already opens her arms and Sam actually can’t wait for a hug, just when something races him to it.

__

“Jody!” 

__

Sam smirks, when he sees that Dean hugs her as hard as he can and he even puts his head on her shoulder. Jody’s eyes widen almost comically and she carefully pets Dean’s hair, who seems to enjoy that as well. 

__

“Cursed?” She mouths at Sam, who laughs and shakes his head. 

__

Dean is still hugging her and Sam bets his eyes are closed in bliss. Claire and Alex are looking at each other, both don’t seem to trust the situation either. Castiel walks slowly to them and stops next to Sam, the angel is grinning.

__

“Claire, Alex! How are you?” Dean asks and he finally lets go of Jody, to walk towards the girls. Before Alex can run away and she really looks as if she meant to do that, Dean is already hugging her. 

__

Claire is his last victim and Dean even leaps her off her feet for a moment. Claire actually squeals at that, not that she would ever admit that to anyone, but she seems happy that Dean is so giddy.

__

“Oh. You can sit down, I think they pie is ready.” Dean says and then he is already gone again. Jody takes a step forward and hugs Sam, she seems still very confused by all of this, while the girls walk over to Castiel.

__

“So if not cursed then what happened?” Jody asks, when they all sit at the table and Dean cuts the pie for them all. He is grinning a lot these days and Sam is glad to see his brother like this. 

__

“We just showed him that he does deserve affection and one day he finally accepted it and it seems like he can’t stop now.” Sam says and thanks Dean when he puts a piece of the home-made down in front of him. Dean shows him a tiny smile. 

__

It’s not like his brother changed completely, no. He still is dangerous on a hunt and in the mornings he is the worst, all moody and angry. But there are times, where he actually shows how… soft he can be. Well, Sam is glad he didn’t say that out loud.

__

“So easy?” Jody asks and Sam shakes his head.

__

“Nah but lets say someone gave him exactly what he needed.” Sam whispers, while the others chatter loudly about the next hunt. Sam sees anyway, that Dean presses a short kiss to Castiel’s mouth.

__

He grins widely.

__

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it again :) 
> 
> x


End file.
